Picnic
by TraipsingExodus
Summary: Evil relaxes.


A bright day; clean breezes and warm sunlight. Such conditions make for perfect picnicking weather, and so a gaggle of otherworldly monsters make their way towards the picnicking grounds: Cho'Gath, Kog'Maw, Kha'Zix and a smiling (though it is unseen) Malzahar, as they stomp, waddle, stalk and float their way to a soft patch of grass and settle down. Malzahar, who had been carrying the basket, sets it down, and continues to float cross-legged a few inches off the ground and opens it. A horrific, ungodly scream explodes out of the basket and particles straight from the Void itself spew out like confetti. Malzahar pays this terrifying display no mind (nearby picnickers, already alarmed by the presence of these foreign creatures, being to scramble madly away from the oblivious picnickers) and removes from the basket several plain containers.

He opens them one by one, Kog'Maw jumping excitedly beside him and trying with all his might to partake of the delicious food. Benignly irritated, Malzahar snaps his fingers and several small, squeaking Voidlings materialize beside Kog and begin to push him back with their heads and legs alike. Cho'Gath, towering above the three, peers down and says in a thundering tone, "Kog'Maw, control yourself. And Malzahar, give me a sandwich. Tuna, preferably." Malz nods and places the bagged sandwich stop a freshly materialized voidling's back and it scuttles quickly up Cho's massive frame to deliver the foodstuff. Kha'Zix, meanwhile, helps himself to a container of potato salad that a nearby voidling had just scuttled up to him and gives Kog'Maw an appraising look as the creature gorges itself on the seventeen sandwiches yet another voidling brought up to him atop a platter.

The mood is pleasant, and the four enjoy their food in relative peace, the anguished cries of "Monsters!" not withstanding. However, an altered being arrives in time to catch sight of the picnic and put an end to the merrymaking. Kassadin glides towards the contented group and is nearly twitching with rage.

"A picnic!? Who are you trying to fool? You've gone and exposed yourselves in the middle of broad daylight and for that I will see you eliminated!" He raises his arm menacingly as a voidblade warps into existence and poises himself to strike.

A massive groan from Cho'Gath gives Kassadin pause as the beast, his tone thoroughly bored says, "Kassadin just give it a rest. I am not interested at all in fighting you in the middle of a nice picnic. Have a sandwich or something and shut up."

At this, Kha'Zix holds up a bowl of potato salad and says enticingly, "It's goooood." Kassadin, however gives the potato salad and creature a confused stare and looks back at Cho, who yawns and idly bites into another sandwich. Kog draws his attention when the sounds of slobbering increase in volume and Kog begins to dance about excitedly, calling for more sandwiches. At last he looks to Malzahar who returns his stare with a raised eyebrow before tossing Kog another platter laden with sandwiches.

"Are you sure you don't want a sandwich? I made plenty of them. Or perhaps some dessert? It was specially ordered and made." He reaches into the basket and removes a dark chocolate cupcake, topped with thick purple icing. "I took out a fair sized order from Sinful Succulence."

Kassadin nodded, impressed; that could not have been cheap before shaking his head wildly as if to clear it and points accusingly at Malzahar. "Do not tempt me with such treats. Delicious or not, there is some sort of plot at hand here, and I will end it now!" Again he raises his arm, blade formed and ready to strike Malzahar down when a feminine voice interrupts them all.

"Excuse me? What in the name of all that is powerful is going on here? Kassadin stop shouting." It was Syndra, and her expression conveyed irritation.

Kassadin's altered voice appeared to be sputtering in rage and confusion. "So! You recruit another from the Void do you!? And still you say that this is not a meeting to destroy the balance that hangs so tenuously over Valoran?"

"Excuse me?" replies Syndra incredulously, "Void? I have absolutely nothing to do with the Void. This is the raw, untapped power so foolishly kept from my grasp that you see!" She rotates the dark spheres of energy about her body before bringing them together, orbiting slowly underneath her feet.

"Nonsense, the energies you exude and your appearance prove you have been touched by the damned Void." He looks Syndra up and down and begins to form a glowing sphere of Void energy at the tip of his blade and points it at her.

Offended, Syndra calls up the spheres from beneath her feet and lines them up to intercept the attack, screeching, "I hardly think I look like I've been tainted by the Void Kassadin." Malzahar interjects in an undertone, "Well, you rather do, but let's not split hairs here." Syndra throws Malzahar a nasty glare before looking back at Kassadin. "Show me your power Kassadin! What little of it you have!"

Cho'Gath throws his arms futilely in the air and grumbles, "Can I just eat them so we can get back to our actual food?" Kha'Zix chuckles.

"What on earth is all this noise?" asked a voice from behind. The group turned about and saw a very confused crystalline scorpion staring back at them blankly. "For what purpose do all of you argue?"

Kassadin seemed on the verge of an aneurism, screaming shrilly, "YET ANOTHER FILTHY VOIDLING ARRIVES!"

A flat "what" was Skarner's reply. It was not a very fun picnic after that.


End file.
